Green Apple Beer?

I sent Pepe to get some beer forgetting that he is not nearly old enough to legally purchase alcohol. He proved to be a resourceful monkey and returned with this strange concoction of barley and hops. It vaguely resembles the sudsy brew that I expect from the folks at Anheuser/Busch albeit the non-alcoholic (what's the point then) version, but the green apple depicted on the side of the can is what really piqued my interest.


I was still a little hesitant about this, so Pepe was brave enough to take the first sip of this curious libation. His face brightened and his eyes became wide as if he had just suckled the nectar from the life-giving teat of the earth-mother herself. I had to pry his arms from the can to be able to sample this supposed wonder-drink.


There is definitely a difference between monkey taste buds and my own. It actually is not half bad if you don't mind watered-down barley pop with a strong artificial apple flavoring bite. The after-taste almost reminds me that I'm drinking beer until I remember that the only reason anyone drinks Budweiser piss-water is for the benefit of the alcohol. Apple flavoring is a poor substitute for alcohol, but what else can you do to make an alcoholic beverage appealing to a non-alcoholic society such as this? What's up, Pete, where's the Cherry Coors Light?

In summary: Bad monkey! Very bad monkey!